What's with the bloody English?

Let me make a few things sparkling clear at the very 'freaking' beginning- I don't resent British for their colonial history. I love their accent - especially when the speaker is Liz Hurley. I love Geoffrey Boycott. I don't mind Kate Winslet one bit. D.H. Lawrence and Ian McEwan (both British) are among my favorite authors.

But...I just hate the bloody England cricket team. And I hate their bloody football team.

Anyone who has been following cricket in the past year, however superficially, will agree that the behavior of the English cricketers has been obnoxious. And, so has the way they have played. Ever since they won the Ashes they have been strutting around with an air of imperiousness, their heads in the clouds, not deigning to honor us ordinary mortals with as much as a glance.

Well, there's nothing wrong in feeling proud about what you have achieved. And England achieved something remarkable last summer. And they did it by playing enthralling cricket of the highest pedigree. But what do they have to show for themselves since- a couple of drawn test series, injuries to most of their players and a shambolic one day team that even the Austin Weekend Warriors( that's our now disbanded cricketing venture) would fancy their chances against.

And the excuses have been flying thick and fast, encouraged in no little measure by columnists, ex-cricketers and an adoring British public. Frankly, it is an insult to the spectators and fans if England 'does not take one day cricket seriously'. It’s like finding out midway through a concert that the artist is actually miming. And as for injuries to their players, keeping fit is a significant responsibility of any sportsman. If you breakdown for 10 months after playing in two games, you don't deserve to be in an international side. It seems to me like the entire English cricketing world is indulging in an operation of self deception, conning themselves into believing that they are good, when they actually suck.

As for the football team, the results are there for everyone to see. England is a vastly overrated team - thanks again to a sycophantic media. Their captain scores once every three years and probably doesn’t have a single goal to his name that did not come from a set piece. One of their star strikers hasn't scored in 20 odd games and another was stretchered off, sans a foul from the opposition. They have good midfielders but so do 15 other teams in the world cup. They play the hopeful longball in 9 out of 10 attacking moves. And to cap it all their coach claims they 'aren't there to entertain'.

Well, its time someone asked the British, "Just who the fuck do you think you are?"